common place

Oh what a surprise I forgot to update this site once again, who could've possibly predicted this (apart from myself in the previous note). I come back having noticed that the 3 year anniversary of this site has come and past - a realisation which is quite strange as it feels as though this site is still brand new, that being said that may be because I keep forgetting about it for months at a time. I have been putting more time into this site as of late (touch wood) and am at a point of really enjoying it once again. I worry that this surge of motivation just so happens to coincide with the bulk of my large exams (a pattern which is increasingly common with my hobbies). That being said I think as time goes on I view this site more and more positively - it exists as a place to express a form of creativity I don't often express which is really appriciated. I have found myself trying to find ways to intertwine this site with my studies and I go back and fourth on it. On the one hand, it is nice to keep something to exist as a completely external hobby and yet on the other hand I consider the philosophy page on this site one of the most engaging things I have made so far. I think I may continue involving things into the site but at any point I may remove them in case updating it feels a little too 'homework-ish'. All of that being consdiered I have been learning irish (Na Gaeilige) and have been thinking about trying to write in irish here on occasion. I recoginse it would be remarkably difficult especially as I am looking to keep somewhat anonymous on this site and at my level I don't have a lot to say beyond statements about my life and preferences. My main reasoning behind wanting to talk about irish more on this site is that it is a language I love (despite being quite shit at it) and that it is one that has remained at risk of being lost for generations - I never learned irish when I was younger and it is a regret and so I suppose I am trying to make up for it now.

In other news I find myself struggling to focus in a number of my lectures at the moment, for context this update is being written during a lecture :/. I think I am definitely ready for the new courses which will come with the next academic year. I am this close to finsishing my degree requirements and it will be so amazing to have some time to just take courses due to interest. I am planning on taking extra courses in the new (academic) year which will inevitably make me miserable and curse this previous version of myself who made the decision but it will speed things up dramatically to get to the 'nicer' courses. On that note if you, my dear reader, happen to be me in the future I would offer this in an attempt to satiate feelings of likely disgust and wishing for violence upon yourself. First, this will get you to where you want to be so much sooner - think about having these requirements hanging over you for even longer. Second, it can always be taken 'pass/fail' and at that point it is not even a worry. And third, I am aware of the amount it will suck - and yet I am chosing it anyway because fuck you (but seriously just get over it).

Anyway, I wish I could promise that I will be updating here more frequently but I must admit it is simply not a promise I can make. I can promise however that I will continute to think about this site and what I want to do with it as time goes on - I, potentially, may be creating another site soon enough for some friends so that would take some focus but it will serve a very different purpose so I don't think it should pull too much from this site. Anyway anyway, I hope things are going well for whoever you are mysterious reader (or potentially readers? (no dw I'm not getting that big of a head)) and that they continue to go well. If things are not then I hope the time you spent reading this insane rambling was not taken to be wasted but served as a somewhat useful distraction from the horrors of daily life.

Once again I retrurn ! Once again very late ! Once again coming with apologies and yet also knowing there is a good chance it will happen again and again. I found out about a club for this kind of site from my university which is quite exciting - as I still know very little about websites and know few people who enjoy it as well. I come here because it is a snow day (the first I have ever experienced) I have had a lot going on since last writing on here (over 3 months !) and frankly it has been quite overwhemling. I need to get back into a better habit of writing here, as I think if I do it more often it will seem like a much less daunting task.

I return months later having frankly forgotten all about neocities and this site yet again. I realise nobody really knows about this site let alone reads it and yet I find the idea of having written something that is simply out in the ether quite interesting. That being said the real question is whether I have anything worth saying at all, I have spent most of my time since starting this site swamped in schoolwork/university work reading all these interesting papers and yet when it comes to presenting my own thoughts I struggle.

I think that (despite how it seems by even having this page) I simply do not enjoy talking about myself - and when I do end up doing talking about myself it's in this odd and roundabout way which just makes things unclear and frankly insane sounding, as you can likely tell already. Anyway I think I have rambled enough about it all that if I can think of anything else to say it will have to come in a later entry.

To get to what I actually wanted to talk about, I would like to focus more on this site - at least until it is operational and is able to work without too much faffing around. After that it should be easier to just pop back every now and again when I have something fun to share, rather than coming back to mountains of unfinished projects and half written code. I simply need to be able to make the time each week to pick away at these concerns and then maybe I'll finally get to a point where the site feels polished if not completed. But alas that is all distant future planning because (as always) I am utterly and completely swamped with work to the point where the fact that I'm even updating this silly little page is quite irresponsible.

Since first starting this site (in 2023 !) it has undergone an awful lot of chnages but frankly so have I so perhaps it is not so ridiculous that this has remained a quite constant throughout it all, a kind of confusing little pet project which is brought back and morphs and chnages as I change. I have met entirely new friends, moved across the world, graduated from school, applied, been accepted, started, and finished my first year of university and that is only the broad strokes. I think with so much change in my life it would be flawed to expect this site to stay as a capsule of what it was once meant to be, and so it's goal transforms as I do and that is an interesting and nice feeling.

I think we often find ourselves changing as people much more often than the institutions around us do, which is part of why I think having spaces like this which can evolve and change over time at the your own discression is important. I know what everyone is going to say 'well instagram does that too' and 'what about twitter?' and while I agree they can be used in this way I worry about handing over years of information and conversations to these companies which have proven time and time again they are entirely focused on profit and are entirely willing to delete or sell your memories the second it makes them more money than saving it.

Anyway I feel the need to apologise for this non-structured ramble but I will refrain because I need to get over this compulsive need to apologise when sharing my thoughts, and if anywhere is a good place to start here is probably best considering it puts nobody out as frankly I doubt anyone will be reading this. But if you are, thank you for your attention and I will try to be more regular with these silly little updates, slán go fóill.

I have to admit I do not quite know what I am going to write on this site, I find myself thinking how good it would be to use it as some sort of open confessional diarybut I know myself too well to ever actually utilise it like that. I would end up writing (much as I am now) for others rather than myself. Performing a verion of myself in order to sell myself as a character. Frankly that sounds exhausting. I cannot be bothered with using this place to cleanse my soul or to sell the idea that I am cleansing it, but rather. I think I will use it just to ramble, as I find myself often wanting to do.